You Can Trust Us

We're the corporate media and you can trust us. It's November 2007 and we're telling you to forget all about that guy on the internet. He was only big for a day. It's time to move on now to new talent, like Taylor Swift. Isn't she sensational? And we hear that Tina Fey is working on a movie. People may like internet stars but they worship Tina Fey. And the Rolling Stones have released a new single: Nothing but Ashes. Everyone support it. And we also hear that a Vancouver band called the Crystalids is headed for big things in the not too distant future. We're the corporate media and you can trust us. It's November 2012 and remember that internet guy we all told you to hate? It turns out that he's right and you can trust us because we're prosecuting the ones who took his work - instead of giving him his property as evidence and letting him do it for himself. Just like naughty children hiding the strap from their father, aren't we? Afraid to take our medicine! And along the way to prosecuting his detractors, we gain enormous love and trust from you, as well as a boost in our views, which adds up to more money from our sponsors and less money for him. Besides, we media people often feel like we don't have enough power and it's great to have one of our own now being worshiped as a star. We're the corporate media and you can trust us. It's June 2013 and fuck the social media. Let them handle their own problems. Speaking of social media, did you hear about this new Australian surfer on the internet? He's such a star. You don't need to pay any attention to that other old fart. Everyone support this seventeen-year-old instead. Maybe he'll grow up to be the next Taylor Swift, who is coming to Vancouver for a Canada Day concert.
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© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.