Fr Donald Skidooski: Undercover Jesuit

Cleverly disguised as an acid rock musician, he patrols the streets of Vatican City on the lookout for sinners... (An alleyway. Skidooski is about to make a dope deal.) Dealer: How much you want? Skidooski: Two grams. Dealer: You sure you're not a priest? Skidooski: Of course not! (Opening shirt) Look at my Black Sabbath shirt! Dealer: Well, all right. (He pulls out a plastic bag from his crotch and digs into it. Suddenly Skidooski whips out his crucifix and holy water.) Skidooski: I baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost! (He splashes the dealer with holy water.) Dealer: No! Agh! It burns! (A strip joint. Skidooski helps a stripper with her act.) Stripper: Some of the musicians I dance to don't like me using their music. But you say you write your own rock? Skidooski: Try this one. (The song starts playing and the stripper starts dancing.) Stripper: Ooo, I like it! It sounds like the singer wanted me to be happy to strip! (She peels off her shirt and Skidooski cuts the music and pulls out his holy weapons.) Skidooski: I baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost! (He splashes her.) Stripper: (Covering her breasts) No-o-o-o-o-o!
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© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.