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Sure, everyone's heard of Saint Nick but few have heard of Saint Mick, the patron saint of horny bachelors. Just like Conrad Black is Lord Black, Mick is Saint Mick. He appears to them in a song about how he can't get no satisfaction, wearing a blazing white robe - with no women around him for miles and miles, of course. And he stays with these lonely men and comforts them, sacrificing his own love life to make them feel better. He first shared this song while another songwriter was still in his mother's womb. And for the next forty-seven years, the women responded to his cries for satisfaction, thinking he must have written it when he had pimples. The bachelors of his time tried to sue him for bullshit, citing his countless sexual conquests, but he escaped conviction by pointing out that the line: I can't get no satisfaction is a double negative. Everyone simply misunderstood him. By that time he had made enough money to last him to the end of time and the other songwriter was a grown man who shared a song about his own needs. Since the women seemed to like it when Saint Mick needed something, he thought it would be a good song for him...
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