Dave's Dateline Disaster

(An exclusive party in 2010.) Hi Tina! Hi Jay! Say, those were some great sketches you had on your show. Thanks. I liked your monologue tonight. Who have you got lined up for next week? I was thinking maybe Taylor Swift. How about you? We're trying to get The Crystalids, as soon as we throw that Polock in jail. Oh? That shouldn't be too hard, with the way we've made the whole world hate his guts! (They both burst out laughing.) I know! Are the people who trust us ever stupid and gullible! They don't deserve to be at an exclusive party with us. They're too stupid! Ha ha ha ha What do you like the most about your stardom? I like the way I don't have to feel inferior to the musical guest any more because so much of my show came from the pen of a musician and everyone thinks I wrote it. What do you like about it? The same thing you like. You know, I've been feeling like some kind of rock star ever since I started lifting those one-liners. I know! Isn't it great? But we should be saving our answers for the reporters. They'll be here soon. You invited reporters here? But they're not stars! We need to feed them some more false information. They'll be here as soon as they get out of Church. Church! That doesn't sound like our reporters. I know what you mean. But they say that they need to hear the Word of God before they can reject it in the name of Lucifer. What are you going to do if you get caught, Tina? Oh, I guess I'll be in hot water for a while, but as soon as the coast is clear, I'm retiring to the south of France with all the money I made from Mean Girls. How about you? Well, I figure that since, with David's talent, all anyone has really been cheering for on my show in the last few years has been my enormous ego, they would probably accept my face on TV even after I was exposed for committing fraud. So I'd just continue my career as if nothing happened. Reporter: Hi Tina! Thanks for inviting me to the party! Is it all set up? It sure is. Dave's Dateline Disaster. We've got the show all written and ready to roll. That's the story for the public. But what do you have lined up for him in jail? Well, we're going to trick him into the paddy wagon. Someone is knocking on his door at this moment. We've got some unspeakable tortures lined up for him. Then they're going to make him dance to the music he said he wrote. And they're going to force him to admit that he didn't write it. And then, before we release him, we're going to mark him in a way that lets all women know the kind of creep he is. Sounds good. If the door knock doesn't work, send a limo with a pretty girl and make him think they're there to take him to Heaven.
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© 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.