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Just while I'm working here to present my work in a way that discourages hateful comments it seems like there is some debate going on about me. Just wanted to say that I have made no deals with any music labels or TV networks in my life and I have made no money from my amateur efforts in either music or writing in the last eighteen years. Any work of mine that exists outside my one YouTube account or my one Google account is unauthorized. Next blog: Weapons and Entertainment Arsenal. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Notice
Friday, August 16, 2013
Criminal Law: Court of the Underworld
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Tonight on Criminal Law: Court of the Underworld, where the prosecutor is as bad as the defendant... Prosecutor: You have been accused of looting and rape. What is your side of the story? Defendant: I'm not going to feel sorry for her. She knew she was being raped. She let me rape her. She knew she was being looted, too. Prosecutor: And yet your victim sits here without a mark on her. Why did you not follow through and beat her? Defendant: She didn't cry out so I didn't have to shut her up. Prosecutor: Then this court finds you guilty of showing mercy. Your loot will be confiscated and donated to the pharmaceutical industry. Victim: What about me? Prosecutor: (Shaking his fist at her) One more word and you'll get one of these. |
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| © 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Pestilence Anti-Pest Pellets
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Are you having a problem with pests? (Holding up a large shaker) Maybe you need Pestilence Anti-Pest Pellets. Just shake some onto the floor and watch them organize themselves into columns, encircle the pest nest, and drive your enemies out through the crack under the door. As soon as their job is done, they die. Your vacuum takes care of the rest. Forget spraying. Get the best: Pestilence Anti-Pest Pellets. Makes sense. |
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| © 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Their Circus
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The stuff I'm hearing about what happened between the show that tried to set me up and their eager stars is causing me pressure again. The population seems to be having a problem remembering who's at fault. It was their circus. They didn't tell me about it. People shouldn't be associating me with it. It created a false and unauthorized image of me. My authority was used to punish stars for poking fun at the media. If those stars are being punished now, it's for the fraud they committed with my work. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Good Job
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You know that pen NBC used to try to steal my justice? Is it melted like Sauron's ring yet? I hope so. I heard some more trespassers were caught last night. Thanks for getting them off my chest. And I hope you are enjoying that sense of righteousness that accompanies a good deed. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Just Guessing 3
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For some reason I've got the notion in my head that there was some kind of misconduct in the punishment of the ones who turned my music and laughs into fraud which is at the moment causing me some sort of unjust paranormal sensation of discomfort. The business had to suck me into their world. I wasn't even aware of it while it was happening. Totally helpless. I was a wimp for letting them take it. Now I'm a prick for defending myself. I didn't approach the business. They took my work and all they do is make me suffer with it. I've suffered all week. If you're a fan, I'm sorry for all this stress. I understand that it is passed down to you. Maybe you should ignore me for a while until the heat dies down. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Sorry?
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Why am I tense. Was I in the news? No one has to give me orgies or anything. I don't need orgies. I want them, but I can get by without them. And I'm a hermit. I've lived a solitary life for at least the last ten years. Why did I share my work? For most of the last six years since I erased much of it and restored it, I've regretted sharing my work. But some other performers have had a great time with it. Why did I erase it? Many reasons. Above all, the pressures of fame can be intense and discouraging if you're experiencing them for the first time. And I don't watch TV or listen to the radio. If I did, my work would have added less to their content. You've been hearing what a brutal experience I've had online almost every day now for years. They've been giving all the money and credit to people who copy and paste my work instead of its author. I can't help writing songs and comedy. I'm creative. It's a way I can feel like I'm worth something when I'm stuck on public assistance. But because I don't get paid for it, I don't see why I'm obliged to leave it online if I need to make some changes to the order of my songs or patch up a vocal track. It took a lot longer to catch up with my writing than it did to catch up with my music. That slowed down my music. And if you check online I'm sure you'll find that all the lying remarks about me and their spinoff lies would greatly outsize my volume. I'm listening to remarks about me in person in the library as I write this. I'm not paranoid about it. It's real. They're saying 'No one wants to be David Skerkowski.' Let me tell you, you'd have to be to survive his experience. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Flag It
| If you see one of my works outside of this account or my one YouTube account (now using my real name), would someone flag it please, or bring it to the attention of the police? The tortures imposed on the victim by copyright infringement are quite real and severely punishable. I didn't experience them in '08 because I forgot all my music and writing. It only hurts you if you have knowledge of your work. Since I was practically forced back online to protect my reputation as an artist, I'd really appreciate some help out there to nip these infringements in the bud. | ||||||||||
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Question
| Have there been any breaches of my copyright in the last hour or so on the internet? I feel those machine gun bullets hitting my bulletproof vest again. | ||||||||||
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Erasing the Pressures of Fame
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Have there been any breaches of my copyright in the last hour or so on the internet? I feel those machine gun bullets hitting my bulletproof vest again. The pressures of fame are mostly felt by those who have not yet 'made it.' Once you have been picked up by the industry, you are a trusted public figure. I can only imagine how that feels. If you want to know about that more pleasant side of fame, ask any of the people who have been credited for writing my songs or sketches in the last six years. They know all about the good side of fame. The pressures of fame are brought on by public distrust. This distrust in my case has been caused by the doubts raised over my ownership of my work. When someone takes my work and says I'm the thief, they throw me in a pressure cooker. When someone puts me on trial over my ownership, they throw me in a pressure cooker. If you need to know how to be on the lookout for fraud, see my How to Detect Fraud entry in this blog. I'm adding more to it every week. Please don't let them torture me with my erased works. I wrote the SNL sketch about the two women who thought everyone was Jesus - along with all the other hundreds of sketches they stole from my life. You saw me post it here and if I erased it it was only because I didn't think it was that funny. As I write this, workers are setting up a film production right outside the library. I heard one of them say, 'That's what you get when you throw the workers into Hell.' So I better answer that. I don't throw people into Hell. I just tell the truth. God throws people into Hell when they sin. Sin is determined by free will. If the workers of Nasco are not capable of free will, God will not punish them. If these workers are helplessly overpowered by the will of their superiors, I still have to point to them in order to zero in on their actions and undo their harm. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Real Scripture 2
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If thy eye offends thee, pluck it out... And if thy hand offends thee, cut it off... And if thy tongue offends thee, as with a lie about David, take a pair of pliers and rip it out. And choke on your gushing blood until you die. |
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| © 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Just Guessing 2
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The internet is changing the entertainment business. Before the internet came along, the only people who were as famous as I am now were signed professionals. Their label or their network could prepare them for their entry into the weird and wacky world of stardom. Now the bizarre side effects of fame are felt by unsigned amateurs who are likely to think they are suffering from some form of mental illness - as I did in late 2007. The problems associated with my fame, as they are systematically solved over the course of my life, will help to bring the industry up to date with the modern age. Perhaps this was part of my 'mission', one that demands the strength to be called a wimp, the intelligence to be called an idiot by idiots, and the talent to crush my own work when it is in the wrong hands. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Ask Nasco
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Why does he know how to draw? He traces. Why does he know how to write? He plagiarizes. Why do his recordings sound good? He cheats. Why is he tall? He's short. Why did he work for Nasco? Because he's a liar. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Roger's Dead
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When I visited Ottawa in February, none of my relatives especially wanted to see me. I'm always broke when I go home to visit. So I ended up staying at the Sally Ann. At this hostel we had to report in every day at 4:00 to reserve our beds for the night. I hadn't stayed there for for a week when I tried to reserve my bed and they told me to wait. I asked why and they wouldn't tell me. They told me to sit in the chair and wait until 7:00. And they weren't smiling. After sitting in my chair for three hours and reading my book, I approached the desk and they said I could have my bed. Then I went outside to have a smoke and there were some girls there. They were smiling and one of them said 'Roger's dead!' My 'ESP' told me that Roger had just tried and failed to get me thrown in jail on a false charge. How did Roger know I was popular? He either has a special access computer or he could be in contact with my American brother. Thanks for sandwiching me between Roger and Bernard, mom. I'm surprised I'm still here. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
I've Had Rainy Trials
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Yesterday afternoon I was seized by a panic I haven't experienced since November last year. I had the feeling that the public had lost faith in me. Was I on trial again? If so, why? If I'm innocent, can't they find some other way to establish it than by placing my picture alongside the offender's as though we were equals? This creates a negative association that lingers in the public mind. I wouldn't want to be on trial against Taylor Smith any more than Jim Morrison would want to be on trial against Tiny Tim. I've already had rainy trials just to stay here for another ten months with no improvement to my living conditions. Can they spare me the sunny ones? If they're going to put Taylor on trial, why don't they set her against someone more appropriate, like Ted Kaczynski? I'm limp from all these doubts they've raised over my just claims. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Monday, August 12, 2013
Just in Case
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No one tells me anything and I know I have more than zero views and zero comments on my web page when my songs were on the radio and my blogs were on TV, so I know I'm more significant than I look. But I could be wrong about some of the things I've been saying lately, not because I am crazy but because I might be getting fed false information from my enemies to make me look crazy. I have to gather my information by intuition, which is highly developed in artists who live like hermits in densely populated areas for decades. I don't want fans who listen to my music for being hip, I want people to listen to it because they like it. I want to get paid for my music, but I do not expect to get paid for it. I'm not writing it to get paid, I'm writing it to express my feelings and thoughts. If I'm wrong about any of the assertions of incarceration, I apologize to my readers for that. Perhaps I've come to rely too heavily on my 'sixth sense'. It's too bad people just can't leave me alone and let me share my work. I meant no harm to anyone when I got back into it in 2010. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Their Level Best
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I just learned that those lawyers I saw in Ottawa had a hand in getting Tina sentenced. Thank you, gentlemen. And if we can get them thrown in prison without NBC, maybe we'll soon be rich! Jon Stewart's going to prison, too? That would be appropriate. I could see how my lawyers would dislike Jon Stewart. You know that sketch I wrote about the lawyer? Johnny Levelhead? Both times I wrote that, it was after visiting my lawyers and being told to keep a level head. My Conspiracies sketch came from feeling the conspiracy against me. I'll be touching that up today. I wonder if I wrote it before. You'd all know better than me. I try to post one humourous thought per day. It always comes from my personal experience. Last night I was thinking about how the wankers of Nasco have been mocking my penis for six years. It brought to mind the famous statue of David. I thought it would be funny to have Michaelangelo chiseling David's penis, getting distracted for a moment, and accidentally lopping it off. Then I saw the cartoon face of Peter Griffen in Michealangelo's place, so I guess you've already seen it. Why is everyone so concerned about whether I'm hip? I don't care about it. I'm not doing this to be hip, I'm doing this to be myself. I would try to be myself whether I was loved or hated. They had people thinking that the business favours people who steal work over artists who create work. Well, maybe this business doesn't exactly love me, but if Tina Fey is in prison and more are about to follow, I would gather that this business at least likes me more than people who steal work. When you notice a comment on my web page which looks malicious, I'm quite sure you'll be able to trace it after reading what I have to say here and in the blogs I've been posting since February. And if the police are interested in catching bad guys redhanded, just post a few undercover cops here in the public library. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Have You Heard David's Innocent?
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I heard Tina Fey was carted off to prison the other night, and if you want to know why, look back over The Card Parties, The Trimming of the Shrub, I'm Free, E.M. Forced Her, The Show Must Continue, and Come Out to Show Them. Stars don't want to go to prison for fraud, and since so many of them committed fraud with my work after I removed it from the web in 2007, I've been under constant attack. The reporters from Dateline NBC resigned? Is that right? They may end up serving time right along with those disgraced stars. I didn't want to go on Dateline because I hate the show and because they made people believe Tina wrote my blogs in 2007. For some reason NBC was free to prosecute themselves for their crime. Of course, they had the evidence to do so, and thought that I might want to 'thank' them for it on their crooked news show. But I stayed off Dateline. Sounds like Taylor Swift played the Canada Day show here and was arrested and incarcerated on her return to the United States when I protested. Sounds like someone was committing fraud with an erased song of mine from 2011 called Innocent. I've re-posted that song. Sounds like Tina Fey's boyfriend performed one show and was throw in jail at my request. I hope they send him to prison, too. Sounds like production was halted on a film being shot here to make me look helpless. And since I re-posted the details of what happened to me at the Nasco staffing company, a lot of seats have opened up here at the library. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Party of One
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How was the party last night? Sounded like it was cancelled for some reason. You know what I did last night? I partied with my prayer beads. I splurged and said ten extra Our Father's. I don't want to look like I'm gloating so I won't talk too much about what happened to those creeps who were using my erased songs. They're saying that 'I knew' - as much as they knew, of course - but my knowledge was based strictly on how I've been treated so far this summer, with Taylor playing the Canada Day show and Tina Fey's lover on the stage again. And that felt like a close call yesterday as I declared my intention re-post erased songs. I never dreamed that writing and sharing songs and laughs could be so treacherous. Anyway, most of them should be back up by the end of the day today. Sorry for getting sidetracked for so long with my new work. To my would-be detractors, this is not 2007. It's 2013 now. The future will not unfold as you wish or expect it to. Is it true that they carted Tina Fey off to prison? Finally! And what happened to Roger? Really? Wow! I mean, I can see them prosecuting Tina Fey, but an important star like Roger? People think they're only hurting me by stealing my work. Wrong. This causes my loyal followers to suffer. That's why entertainment fraud is punished so severely. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Conspiracies
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Welcome to Conspiracies. Who killed the Kennedys? People have been shouting out this question since 1963. Our guest today is here to help us answer it. Mister Pearson, thank you for being here. My pleasure. How did you come by this information? I worked in the records department of the Pentagon. I see. A whistle blower! If you like. And what did you find there? I found out that Lee Harvey Oswald was indeed a patsy. I understand why they have kept this information from the public all this time. If the public knew- (A man from the audience leaps onstage and shoots Pearson in the chest. The crowd screams and police struggle to restore order.) (A hundred years later. A different host in futuristic attire.) Welcome to Conspiracies. At last we know who killed the Kennedy's and who killed Edgar Pearson. But do we know why? Here to answer this question is Buck Masters. Thank you for being with us, Mister Masters. Shall we get right down to it? Certainly, but I must warn viewers that this information is extremely sensitive. It has the potential to unravel the whole fabric of our society. The reason why Kennedy was killed is- (A man from the audience leaps onstage and zaps Masters with a ray gun. Chaos. Hovering spheres move in and try to restore order.) |
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| © 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Mind Your Manners
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Good day and welcome to Mind Your Manners. Rudeness takes many forms, but perhaps the most insidious is that of chronic complaining. People should know better than to complain. We all suffer in this life and it's not fair to unload our burdens onto other people. (Enter a stagehand.) Who are you? What do you want? I want my pay cheque. I've worked on this set for over a month. Well, you should be glad to have something to do. My children are starving! I'm behind in my rent! Now now, let's not burden everyone with your problems. |
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| © 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Get the Waistcoat
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Are you protected? I mean, are you really protected? If you don't own the Waistcoat, probably not. The Waistcoat is made of a light and durable alloy that can stop a bullet fired from point blank range. Bill, how do you feel with me pointing this shotgun at your chest? Are you nervous? Not one bit. (He discharges the weapon and knocks Bill onto his back.) How about now? I feel relaxed. (He stands directly over Bill and discharges the weapon again.) How about now? (Wheezing) Just a little winded. (Another gunshot to Bill's chest.) And now? (Unable to speak, Bill feebly raises his hand in the air with his thumb up.) Stop living in fear and get the the Waistcoat: it's one solid investment. |
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| © 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Friday, August 9, 2013
Land of Dream Jobs
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America is the land of dreams. Here you can be anything you want. Do you want to be a writer? Put it on your resume and apply for a writing job with NBC. As long as you're wearing glasses, you'll get the job. You don't even have to know how to spell. You just need to know how to copy and paste from the internet. Do you want to be a rock star? Just get together with your friends and apply for work with WEA Music or Zydeco Subpop. As long as your songs are in demand, you'll get the job. They don't even have to be your songs, at least not for as long it takes to damage their appeal in the hands of their true owner. Do you want to be a heart surgeon? |
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| © 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Ahead of Their Time: Nicholas Capricornicus (1492-1525)
| Nicholas Capricornicuski was born in Poland in 1492. His father was a drunk and his mother was a palm reader. He was an intelligent boy and performed well in his studies of contemporary astrology and metaphysics. He graduated from the Church in 1510 and moved to England, where he tried to get a job in his chosen profession. But no one thought he was smart enough for it, and all he could find was a menial job on a ladder replacing street torches. He figured that he was being discriminated against for being Polish and shortened his name to make it sound more Latin. Suddenly doors opened for him everywhere: the Church. They put him to work on translating scriptures, but he didn't like it and succumbed to alcoholism. One night in 1514 he got so drunk that he collapsed on the floor. The ceiling started to spin and it gave him the notion that the Earth might also spin, which would affect our perception of the heavens. He told the bishop about it, but the bishop didn't like the idea, so he abandoned it and died of liver failure in 1525. He is not to be confused with the brilliant Polish astronomer, Nicolai Copernicus, from the same period, who had an entirely different life. | ||||||||||
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| © 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
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